What A Difference A Year Makes

Happy New Year everyone!  As I kick off 2020 I look back on my first 2019 blog post (check out link here) that ended with the following outlook:

“You can look at the year in review and think about how the past or present was your friend or enemy.  The year was your friend during the times you laughed so hard you started to cry.  Your friend when you took as many snapchat videos, selfies or pictures so you can rave about.  Your friend when you were having quality moments.  The year was your enemy when you were experiencing pain.  Your enemy when you endured a tragedy or news that deeply saddened you or someone within your support system.  Your enemy when times were tough.  2019 is where the strangers lie.  The strangers will be new experiences, new endeavors, new hardships, new obstacles, new beginnings, new adventures, etc. Remember you have support systems that will be with you as you navigate the strangers and know that each stranger will soon be a new “friend” or a new “enemy”.  Take risks. Believe. Hope.”

As I navigated 2019 I certainly ran into new strangers that soon became either a friend or an enemy.  One thing that remained constant though was my support system and my consistency to believe and hope.

Today marks a day where my husband and I believed and hoped the most.  Today marks mine and my husband’s “Transferiversary” or “Transferversary”.  Yes that is a term used in the infertility journey. January 9th last year marked the day we had our transfer.  Transfer day is the last part of the In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) process. We watched as the embryologist and doctor implanted our embryo. The spot where we told our embryo, “Welcome to your new home”! 

We later found out that our embryo listened and made a home in my belly for the next 9 months. Our transfer was a success.  We were pregnant and today we get to celebrate our “Transferiversary” with our baby girl, Teagan Kimberly. It is amazing what a year a difference can make. 

We decided to name our daughter Teagan Kimberly.  Teagan, a name that both my husband and I fell in love with after matching on the name in a baby app.  Yes, there is actually an app for that. You swipe left if you do not like the name and right if you like the name.  If you and your partner both swipe right to like the name the app tells you that you have matched. Teagan was one of them!  Kimberly, after my husband’s mother, our beautiful angel in heaven.  

However, for the fun of it, I took one of those silly pop up games on Facebook after seeing a friend post theirs.  I know they are generated, but I can’t help but smile at the one that came up for our little Cup of Tea (a nickname that my husband calls her).  Teagan has already shown her triumphant ways for sure.

For starters, during the IVF process she was one of two embryos that made it to the final phase to be able to be transferred.  That was her first triumph!

9 months later, her second obstacle and triumph occurred. Her delivery day.  Her due date was September 27th, 2019. She wanted to be early (A trait she must get from me.  I hate being late.) The morning of September 25th, while trying to scrapbook, my water broke. I decided to wait it out and ended up checking into the hospital that evening.  Contractions started to come on heavily and I got my epidural just in time for the Big Brother Finale. (You know you need to watch shows live to prevent spoilers. Plus it was a great distraction at the time.) While I watched the finale, the nurses and doctor kept coming in to change my position.  After doing this several times, I was then hooked up to oxygen. I was told that the oxygen was not for me, but this helped our baby to receive more oxygen. Then the changing of my position continued. It was not until both the nurse and doctor came in together with more serious faces that we knew something was up.  

Every time I was having a contraction, the baby’s heart rate would drop.  The changing of positions was in hope that it would change her position and help with keeping her heart rate balanced.  Instead, her heart rate continued to drop. I went from relaxed (as much as you can be while in labor) to Chris changing into scrubs and preparing me for an emergency cesarean section.  Before I knew it, we were in the operating room and all I wanted was to hear the sound of a healthy baby cry. The medication was making me nauseous and causing me to pass out. I remember paying close attention to the music playing faintly in the background to help keep myself alert as much as possible.  “Truth Hurts”, by Lizzo was the song that was playing. Lizzo is known for her unapologetic self confidence and unbridled positivity. I thought to myself if this is the song our baby is coming out to, I knew she was already a rockstar in my book. Sure enough at 12:19 am, September 26th, 2019 a cry was heard in the operating room.  A cry that struck instant tears of happiness and pure joy in mine and my husband’s eyes.

Turns out the fetal distress was due to the umbilical cord being around her neck.  Every time I was having a contraction, the umbilical cord got tighter. This caused her to not receive adequate oxygen making her heart rate drop. I later came to find out that she did not take her first breath on her own right away either. Her first cry was not until they brought her to the table to help her. A little fighter from the beginning, coming out triumphant again.

Coincidental that the Big Brother Finale was the same night. If you are a fan you know what I am talking about. If you are not, well bear with me. One of the key phrases of the show is “expect the unexpected”. In other words, things do not always go as you plan. In fact in the pregnancy books I read for my summer reading, any part that had to do with c-sections, I just skipped over. The hospital classes my husband and I took. Yup, totally tuned out during the c-section parts. Thought no way, no how I was going to have one. A C-Section was not part of my plan. But Bam. The unexpected happened and we could not be more thankful that day for medical technology that helped our little girl be born and to keep me healthy as well.

2019 a year of hoping, believing and understanding that things do not always go as planned. Yet here in 2020 my husband and I are able to celebrate our transferiversary. A day, a year ago, where hope and believing was what we embraced.

So what friends and enemies did you encounter in 2019? What were the times you laughed so hard your stomach hurt or you had a moment that you will cherish for a lifetime? What were the times you would rather forget or were struck with sadness and grief? Some of these times are planned while some are not. You can let them consume you or hope and believe that “your plan” will work out even better in the end. You too can be celebrating a year from now a plan that went a different way then you intended.

If you are currently going through infertility, hope and believe that 2020 will bring you your baby boy or girl. If you are experiencing pain, hope and believe that 2020 will bring you joy. If you feel like their is one obstacle after another to hurdle, hope and believe that 2020 will be a year where you clear them and come out victorious. I hope and believe that a year from today you look back at “your plan” and smile just like my husband and I are smiling today. Remember, it is amazing what a year a difference can make.

In 2020 I hope you…..

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY SLAY! 🙂